During our three years of infertility, Bible study just about saved my life. Okay, so it was God who actually saved me. And Adam was a big part of it too. But my weekly Bible study girls were very important. When I felt myself starting sink under the sadness that never seemed to fade, they’d remind me to laugh and eat some dessert and get back into the Word of God.
It took me a long time to open up about our infertility. I felt irrationally ashamed of it, like I’d done something to deserve it. But the last thing I wanted was anyone’s pity. When I finally broke down and spilled out the entire story to my Bible study girls (while bawling my eyes out), they responded with such love and sweetness. They began praying for us and they were a constant encouragement. I’ll never forget the night I got to share that somehow, despite what the doctors had said and only by God’s miraculous grace, I was pregnant. I wish somehow I’d recorded their happy screams and the way our leader Karen immediately threw her hands up in the air and began praying and shouting her thanks to God.
We finished that particular study a couple months before Sky was born. When a new study began in the fall, I was dealing with a fussy newborn and lots of breastfeeding trouble, and I didn’t see how I could leave Sky at bedtime, so I stayed home. Nine months later, Micah was on the way. By then I’d joined MOPS, started volunteering at the Women’s Pregnancy Center, and somehow I never made my way back into a regular, weekly Bible study.
This fall though, a new study began at our church on Wednesday mornings. There are homemade snacks involved and childcare. I knew immediately I wanted to join. So far we’ve met twice, and each time I’ve sat in the circle wondering how I managed to go for three years without being part of a study. We’re reading through the gospel of Mark along with Tim Keller’s book, King’s Cross. I can already tell I’m going to learn much more in the group than I would on my own and I’m just so thankful. Thankful for my church, for godly mentors who are willing to share what they know, and for God’s Word, which is infinitely deep and available to me every moment of every day.
“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” – Psalm 119:105
I remember that night. What fun! It was such a joy to be part of witnessing God answering our prayers in such a beautiful way, defying all the negative predictions made by man along the way. He always has the last word.
Aron, you are one of the most supportive, encouraging people I know. So glad we got to have coffee and bagels today!
I remember that night too. I miss you guys and those studies!
I miss you too Niki!
Amen to all of it!