Off the Wagon

I have a confession to make. I have fallen off the healthy food bandwagon. Sort of. I’m not eating Twinkies or drinking Pepsi yet. But if I’m still hanging on, it’s with one arm and I’m at the very edge of the wagon. It could just be a matter of time before I decide to let go completely and sink into a colorful sea of M&M’s.

We were in a good pattern at home. I was making bread every week, cooking dinner each night mostly from scratch, and we were eating lots of organic produce. But when the morning sickness hit me, I started baking a lot less and giving the kids store-bought bread again.

Sky turned three and instead of creatively thinking of non-candy treats and prizes, I took the easy route and threw her a sugarfest of a party. We had a piñata loaded with candy and a Dora cake I made with a Betty Crocker mix and frosting. I didn’t have the confidence that I could make a cake from scratch with healthier ingredients that would actually taste yummy, and I didn’t have the energy to experiment with different recipes in advance. (And yes, that hydrogenated, sugary cake was yummy.)

A week later we left for vacation and so far the kids have had chicken nuggets and fries twice, even though I believe that just might be the unhealthiest meal I could possibly give my children. What’s happening to me?

I feel like I’m still trying, but things aren’t going well. The day after we got here, we went to my cousin’s house to celebrate her son’s fourth birthday. Here is a conversation my mom and I had near the end of the night:

Me, after watching my mom give Skylar some of her Diet Coke: “Mom! What are you doing?”

Mom: “What? Can’t she have Diet Coke?”

Me, laughing a little: “No! She can’t!”

Mom: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, first of all it’s caffeinated and we’re about to take her home to bed.”

Mom: “Oh. Well can she have some Sprite?”

Me: “No! Mom, she’s never had pop in her life.”

My mom gasps: “Never?”

I am starting to feel other people looking at me. I hesitate. “Why does she need pop? She’s three.”

Mom: “Okay.” She turns to Skylar: “Mommy says no pop.”

Me, feeling like the type of mom who forces her kid to take a brown bag lunch to a birthday party: “I’ll get you some milk, Sky.”

Sky actually didn’t object. She just came inside and had a glass of milk. And one of my cousin’s friends, mother to a four year old and a newborn, leaned over to me later and said, “We don’t drink pop at our house either,” which helped me feel a little less lame.

I guess I’m still trying to figure it all out—am I too controlling if I try to keep my kids away from things like pop and chicken nuggets (which I seem to be failing at anyway)? Am I making too big a deal out of food? I don’t want to be the serious mom who’s always telling my kids no and making people around me feel self-conscious about what they’re eating.

And one last thing. I know that especially during pregnancy it’s important to eat unprocessed, nutritious food and drink lots of water. But I have to confess that the pitcher of Crystal Lite in my mom’s fridge looks really good to me right now.

Help! I need advice from all my granola-from-scratch friends. How do you stay motivated to eat healthy and how do you keep it fun?