Have any of you read the Duggars’ new book, A Love That Multiplies? I recently finished it and wish I’d read it with friends because, love them or hate them, the Duggar family is an interesting topic to discuss.
If you’ve ever watched 19 Kids and Counting on TLC, you’re probably familiar with Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and their very large family. I don’t want to get into the whole birth control/family planning debate (the Duggars believe in allowing God to decide the size of their family, meaning they don’t use birth control of any kind). What fascinates me is how they function as a family.
A Love That Multiplies, which is the Duggars’ second book, explains their philosophy. If I had to sum it up in one word it would be this: togetherness. They live in a massive house, but except for Jim Bob and Michelle, all the girls share one room and the boys share another. The kids are homeschooled, they go to a home church where the whole family worships together instead of in age-divided groups, and the teenagers are encouraged to begin college online and then finish their degrees locally while living at home so that “the family does not have to be fragmented for the sake of college.”
There is so much I respect about the Duggars. They seem to truly love God and each other, and their children seem obedient and respectful. I can’t fathom the years Michelle Duggar has spent pregnant or caring for a newborn. She must be the most exhausted woman on the planet! Sticking to their no-birth-control philosophy when the babies keep coming must be difficult. The Duggars get lots of criticism for having all those kids, but they don’t argue or lash out in response. In an article in People back in August last year, Michelle acknowledged how hard it is when they are attacked. Critics have pointed out that there’s no way two parents can spend one-on-one attention with nineteen children every day, but instead of defending herself Michelle simply said, “It stabs my heart when there is truth in it.” It can’t be easy to respond in humility when strangers judge them just for having a big family.
At the same time, I wonder about all that togetherness. What would it be like to grow up in a family without much (or any?) personal space? And after all that homeschooling and homechurching, would it be scary to grow up and suddenly find yourself out in the world? Will the Duggar kids be more secure in the long run or less?
Adam and I are almost sure we’re going to homeschool our kids for at least part of their elementary years. I’ve always liked teaching and I’m really excited about it. I want it to be fun and creative, to do lots of hands-on activities and trips, and to let my kids direct their own learning—all things that can be challenging in the traditional school system. But I am concerned about the social aspect. I don’t want my kids to be isolated or feel like they spend all their time at home. I want us to be a close family, but ultimately I want our kids to grow up and be independent.
Do any of you homeschool your kids? Was it a hard decision to make? What do you think of the Duggars? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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