A few weeks ago my mom friends started passing around a blog from the Huffington Post called The Mom Stays in the Picture. In it, writer Allison Tate explains why she and many of her friends avoid being photographed: “We’re sporting mama bodies and we’re not as young as we used to be. We don’t always have time to blow dry our hair, apply make-up, perhaps even bathe (ducking). The kids are so much cuter than we are; better to just take their pictures, we think.” But when Tate’s son begged her to join him in a photo booth, she decided to go for it, realizing that years down the road her son would be happy to have pictures of the two of them laughing together. And he probably wouldn’t care if her hair was messy or she was still carrying extra baby weight.
I admit it. I got a little teary-eyed when read Tate’s post. Partly because I’m sleep deprived and overly emotional. And partly because I’m just so happy her post applies to me—I love being a mama. But also because I see myself in her words. When I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror or see my image in a photo, I immediately cringe over something, many things. Lately I always think I look tired. And from there it’s easy to head down the “Wow, having kids has really changed me” path… which can quickly lead to the “Who am I? Have I lost myself?” train of thought…
Our culture applauds moms who still look like teenagers. Moms who maintain their pre-mom bodies, careers, and interests. Moms who preserve an identity apart from their family life. For the record, I’m all for moms staying sane—having alone time, getting out with friends, pursuing the dreams God puts in our hearts, and taking breaks (yes please!). But the pressure society puts on moms to 
have children without changing a whole lot is unrealistic. I don’t want to spend my days chasing after a younger version of myself. The truth is no matter how hard I try, I will never catch her. I’ll never look quite like her or think exactly like her again. And maybe that’s not all bad.
Author Rachel Jankovic says, “A Christian woman’s view is always forward and never back.” What if as moms we encouraged each other not to worry so much about who we used to be, but to figure out what qualities God wants us to cultivate right now?
God says children are a gift, and I don’t think He wants us to dwell mainly on how they’re wearing us down or what they’ve done to our bodies or how we don’t have much time for ourselves anymore. I think He wants us to enjoy our gifts. To stop idolizing the past and move forward. And take plenty of happy pictures with our kids along the way.
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