The other day I was walking with my three kids through Aldi when a woman coming the opposite direction said in disgust, “Time to get spayed,” as she brushed by us.
For a second I stopped. Did she just really say that to me? I stared at her back as she headed to the check out. My face was burning. I looked at my kids. They were happily oblivious (thank God). I started slowly walking again and my brain filled up with all sorts of irate comebacks.
But then part of me suddenly wanted to laugh, mostly because I never imagined myself in this situation. With our history of infertility, who would have thought I’d be criticized by a random person in the grocery store for having too many kids? In an odd way it made me feel blessed. And I wanted to tell that lady about the years I spent crying and praying for God to make me a mother, that each of my children is an answer to prayer. I wanted to tell her how much joy these kids have brought into our family. But then Autumn started fussing and my mind went back to my list, my budget, and making it through the store without one of the kids throwing a tantrum (which would have been very unfortunate timing).
As I thought about the comment later though, it made me mad—furious!—all over again. My kids weren’t doing anything wrong in the store, other than maybe blocking the aisle for all of two seconds. And since when is three kids considered too many? And why is our culture so down on children anyway? It’s hard enough to stay positive as a mom in the daily swirl of sibling fights and discipline issues without adding random criticism from strangers on top of it. I mean, really. The Bible says children are a blessing. Why can’t people just be supportive? Or at least keep their mouths shut?
I spent most of Friday afternoon ranting and raving in my head. It felt good. I did a lot of texting too, and got a bunch of friends worked up for me. For all of us hard-working, baby-lovin’ mamas.
On Sunday morning, Adam and I were racing around as usual, getting ready for church. We try to leave at 9:30, which means that at 9:28 I was ironing my shirt, eating breakfast, packing a diaper bag, ordering Skylar to “USE THE POTTY” and telling Micah to “FIND YOUR SHOES.” Ten minutes later, after we’d all grumped our way into the van I turned to Adam and said, “I am not looking forward to working in the nursery today.”
Then an image of the angry lady from the grocery store popped into my head.
Hm. Maybe I don’t always agree with God either. Maybe I sometimes see children as a burden instead of a blessing too.
I sat there miserably for a few minutes, thinking about my hypocrisy and wondering what to do, when I was reminded of something Dorothy, our lead mentor at MOPS, said at last week’s meeting. “If you are feeling discouraged, find someone to encourage. If you are feeling lonely, call or write to someone.” Maybe instead of getting all fired up because the world doesn’t always agree with God, I should have asked Him to show me the darkness in my own heart, and how to move in the opposite spirit. It about brings me to tears when I pick Micah up from the nursery and the workers tell me, “He is so sweet and smart!” Or when a fellow grocery shopper says, “Your kids are beautiful.” There’s no reason why I can’t do that for other moms.
Sometimes I let myself off the hook because my kids are still little and I’m often overwhelmed. I tell myself I won’t forget to affirm young moms when I’m older. But I think instead God wants me to be an encourager today.
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