Adam and I recently added the fruit of the Spirit to our living room walls. So now when I’m halfway through a good, long rant about how messy the house is, I look up and find the word “joy” staring back at me. Or when the noise level has reached an all-time high and I’m just about to channel my frustration into a big I-can-out-scream-you-all yell, I glance up and the word “gentleness” ruins my tantrum. Apparently God had people like me in mind when He told His children to cover their homes with His Word.
The other night my friend Jen looked at our walls and asked Adam and me, “So if you had to choose, which one of those words would be your strength and which one your weakness?” I once heard Beth Moore point out that the verse says fruit of the Spirit, not fruits, meaning they are connected and each believer should have all of them. But some of them definitely seem harder than others.
We had no problem picking out each others’ strengths. Jen’s dealt with chronic head pain for the past five years and she overflows with compassion—kindness—for everyone else’s pain too. I once tried to apologize to her for whining over something stupid (a cold maybe?) compared to her never-ending headache and she quickly stopped me: “Pain is pain,” she said simply. Adam’s strength was also easy to identify. He is the most faithful, loyal person on earth. (I know! I can’t believe I get to be his wife either.)
When we got to our weaknesses, I thought for a bit and then finally said, “I know this is terrible, but my weakness is love. I tend to have my own agenda and I like to be in charge. I put myself first all the time and that’s the opposite of love. It’s selfishness.” Later Adam pointed out that my strength (he says I have self-control) is the mirror opposite of my weakness (I can be selfish and controlling).
Ack. Sometimes Scripture is really uncomfortable. If I just watch a lot of TV I can let myself think I’m a pretty good person. But when I read the Bible I’m confronted with my dark, sinful heart.
All week I’ve been thinking about our conversation. Then the other day I happened to listen to Pastor Colin Smith preach about humility and he pointed to Isaiah 57:15, where God says, “I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.” As Pastor Colin read the verse I realized I need those words in the front of my mind. All the time. When my eyes are focused on the holiness of God, I’m very aware that I am small and empty-handed before Him. The only way to stop my prideful, selfish thoughts is to replace them with God’s truth.
The Bible is sharp and it tears us apart, but at the same time it’s the answer. It has the power to heal us and change us. There’s even hope for us selfish control-freaks. Hope for a future filled with joy and marked by a genuine love for God and His people.

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