Birthdays

We have quite a few winter birthdays in our family. Adam and his dad John just had theirs at the end of January. Micah turns two today. And there’s another birthday coming soon, this one for baby #3, but for now her exact birthday is God’s little secret.

I’m nine months pregnant and it’s Micah’s birthday, which I think entitles me to be a little emotional. Every time I look at Micah I want to scoop him up and cover his mushy cheeks with kisses. He’s at a very yummy age right now. He has a lean toddler body but a pudgy baby face, and he’s still too young to push me away when I pull him in close for a cuddle. We recently had a combined family party for him, Adam, and John, and the next morning Micah sat at the breakfast table and asked very seriously, “Where’d my birthday go?” He can speak in full sentences now and it’s just so cool to hear what’s going on in his mind.

All these birthdays are fun and remind me how blessed I am by the people in my life. And here we are, on the verge of welcoming another little one into our family.

But happiness like this is a little scary too. There is no guarantee that sickness, tragedy, or some other heartache isn’t just up ahead for us.

I’ve had some wild nightmares during this pregnancy. People say it’s common and it’s because of shifting hormones. But that doesn’t make the dreams any less disturbing. Sometimes when I wake up and fear creeps in, I catch myself turning to reason first. I’ll think, “Odds are that won’t actually happen to us.” And it’s usually true. But it’s a shallow comfort because hardship of some sort does eventually reach everyone.

I don’t think God wants me to put my hope in probability. I think He wants me to remember that regardless of what happens He is always with me and He can bring good out of even the worst tragedy. Logic is fine, but I want to build my life on the promises of God. Long after we’re done having birthdays, when even heaven and earth have passed away, God’s Word will remain.

“Your faithfulness continues through all generations.”– Psalm 119:90a