The other day I was walking with my three kids through Aldi when a woman coming the opposite direction said in disgust, “Time to get spayed,” as she brushed by us.
For a second I stopped. Did she just really say that to me? I stared at her back as she headed to the check out. My face was burning. I looked at my kids. They were happily oblivious (thank God). I started slowly walking again and my brain filled up with all sorts of irate comebacks.
But then part of me suddenly wanted to laugh, mostly because I never imagined myself in this situation. With our history of infertility, who would have thought I’d be criticized by a random person in the grocery store for having too many kids? In an odd way it made me feel blessed. And I wanted to tell that lady about the years I spent crying and praying for God to make me a mother, that each of my children is an answer to prayer. I wanted to tell her how much joy these kids have brought into our family. But then Autumn started fussing and my mind went back to my list, my budget, and making it through the store without one of the kids throwing a tantrum (which would have been very unfortunate timing).
As I thought about the comment later though, it made me mad—furious!—all over again. My kids weren’t doing anything wrong in the store, other than maybe blocking the aisle for all of two seconds. And since when is three kids considered too many? And why is our culture so down on children anyway? It’s hard enough to stay positive as a mom in the daily swirl of sibling fights and discipline issues without adding random criticism from strangers on top of it. I mean, really. The Bible says children are a blessing. Why can’t people just be supportive? Or at least keep their mouths shut?
I spent most of Friday afternoon ranting and raving in my head. It felt good. I did a lot of texting too, and got a bunch of friends worked up for me. For all of us hard-working, baby-lovin’ mamas.
On Sunday morning, Adam and I were racing around as usual, getting ready for church. We try to leave at 9:30, which means that at 9:28 I was ironing my shirt, eating breakfast, packing a diaper bag, ordering Skylar to “USE THE POTTY” and telling Micah to “FIND YOUR SHOES.” Ten minutes later, after we’d all grumped our way into the van I turned to Adam and said, “I am not looking forward to working in the nursery today.”
Then an image of the angry lady from the grocery store popped into my head.
Hm. Maybe I don’t always agree with God either. Maybe I sometimes see children as a burden instead of a blessing too.
I sat there miserably for a few minutes, thinking about my hypocrisy and wondering what to do, when I was reminded of something Dorothy, our lead mentor at MOPS, said at last week’s meeting. “If you are feeling discouraged, find someone to encourage. If you are feeling lonely, call or write to someone.” Maybe instead of getting all fired up because the world doesn’t always agree with God, I should have asked Him to show me the darkness in my own heart, and how to move in the opposite spirit. It about brings me to tears when I pick Micah up from the nursery and the workers tell me, “He is so sweet and smart!” Or when a fellow grocery shopper says, “Your kids are beautiful.” There’s no reason why I can’t do that for other moms.
Sometimes I let myself off the hook because my kids are still little and I’m often overwhelmed. I tell myself I won’t forget to affirm young moms when I’m older. But I think instead God wants me to be an encourager today.
Oh, precious friend! I love you and those miracle babies ♥
What a beautiful photo of you with your three blessings! The devil is out to rob us of our joy and peace of knowing who we are in Christ and with what we are doing in our day. I’m with you on feeling indignant about what that woman said and will admit that my flesh would want to react with setting her straight rather instead of respond in love. I wonder if maybe that woman couldn’t have children or struggled to have more than one, saying that out of jealousy. Who knows what her story is but we can pray for God to bless her with knowing Him (I would consider that as praying for your enemies since she sure didn’t seem like a friend). It is not easy to walk in God’s kingdom of love & mercy while in this world, which why we desperately need His Holy Spirit to guide us daily in our lives. It is good that you can find something in it to laugh about for that in itself frustrates the devil’s tactics. Blessings to all you mothers with little ones.
Thank you Linnea. I’ve been worried about these types of comments as I’m unmistakeably pregnant now and have a 3.5 year old and 2 year old. Thanks for writing about it now so I can hopefully learn from you and your wisdom!
Loved reading this Linni, love what God showed you in this and it has encouraged me today! I too am challenged by what your MOPS leader shared, good stuff.
I studied those beautiful pix for a long time. You have a full lap! I’ve always thought of Skylar as looking like Ad, but when I see your smile and hers, they seem identical. Either way, all 4 of you are adorable, and the point in your blog was well taken and well said. It spoke to me, too. I always smile at young children and their moms in stores, but you’ve challenged me to go further and open my mouth with uplifting words now. Thank you!
Wow Linnea – I am still shocked that someone actually said that to you – it IS sad when another person can’t appreciate the beauty, miracles and blessings around them. She obviously is a sad and miserable person. I hope she thought more about the hurtful thing she said to you, but she probably didn’t – I pray she find some comfort in her life. And you and the kids look beautiful!
what a timely post as i wait for asa to wake up from his nap so i can head to walmart. i often get comments and looks from others as i shop. it’s as if i am an alien with my 3 little ones. anyway, thank you for your perspective. i never know how to react to others but am always so saddened. i think a smart thing for me to do would be to pray before i go in the store and then keep praying while we are shopping. thanks again!
It made my blood boil just reading your post….but the HOLY SPIRIT LIVES IN YOU, Linni….and you did the right thing….ignored her. the enemy would have loved for you to retaliate ……but as we all know…..you ARE blessed and have (so far) 3 miracles in the flesh….precious & beautiful.
It’s sad that people like that are walking around ….but they are ‘not God’s people’ and they are unhappy and miserable and want everyone else to be.
I pray the Lord allow you to glean what you need from this, then wipe it from your memory.
I LOVED THE PHOTOS! …love you….and thanks for the reminder, ‘when I see a young mother in this situation, to make an encouraging comment’…..I’ve been there.
Love you all,
GG